Over the past couple of days I've been sharing lost time with my youngest brother. I called him on Sunday evening after not having talked to him in almost 9 years. The question in my mind is why haven't I called before now? At first glance it was just life and being busy with it. I've never been one to keep tabs and track of everyone in the family. But, I have to ask in all honesty if in part I didn't contact him out fear of rejection because I'm transitioning. "Coming out" is the hardest part of this whole process and the fear of rejection by those you love is very real and happens all too often for transgenders. The lost or disconnect of family and friends is hard enough in a normal sense but to lose people when you need them most is often devastating. I have been thinking about this over the last couple days after talking to my brother and telling him that I am a transgender. First off I must thank him; his reaction was positive and it is a lot to try to understand in a very short moment. I hadn't planned on "coming out" as I did at that moment but the direction of the conversation kind of put me on the spot and my goal was to be completely honest with him. I have a great deal of respect for him as a man and as my brother and to be any less than honest would be doing us both a disservice. When my brother and I were talking he asked if I planned on having surgery and I told him I did plan on it as soon as I can afford it. Was I put off by the question, no I answered it because it is a natural response of wanting to understand and put it into a perspective. I have asked him to keep the lines of communication open and of course I am willing to answer any question that he might have about this journey that I am on. I know that it will take time for him to come to accept me as Stephanie and I am willing to give him that time. I learned early on that acceptance is the second most difficult part of transition and patience is required. We as transgenders sometimes make the mistake of taking it for granted or have a false sense of expectation that everyone must accept us as our new persona. When we fall into that trap of expectation we set ourselves up for depression and failure when rejection and non-acceptance does happen. Does that mean that our life is over? No of course not. It just means that the person who doesn't accept us either needs time to adjust or come to terms with our transition. If they can't, it is their lost, but unfortunately the transgender loses out too. I found the following quote when I first started down this path and it goes as "Those who judge do not matter" and "Those who matter do not judge" and as a philosophy it works very well especially when it is couple with another quote that I came up with, "Acceptance is paramount to equality". Once we are accepted as the person we are then we have the opportunity to become equals to those that accept us. Once we are equals to others then we are truly integrated into our new lives.Which brings me to this thought, when we transition yes we change a great many things like our name and our gender but in essence we are still the same person that we have always been. We still have many of the same likes and dislikes that we've always had. We don't forget our past and history; in fact sometimes it even makes us stronger and better able to cope with the slings and arrows that must face as transgenders on top of just being human too. I learned that he has had to deal with the lost of a loved one but has found love once again. This tells me that he has a huge capacity for love of others. This also gives me hope that he will find acceptance of me as Stephanie because I have always loved and respected my brother.So now I have taken one more step on that journey and to where the path will lead I do not know. All I do know is that this is the right path, at the right time and I can only hope that it will go well.