One of the toughest things for a transgendered person is to develop a relationship with someone of either gender. Lesbians don't like transgenders because they don't consider us to be real women just as many men don't like us for the same reason. Gay men just tolerate us because they see us as not staying true to our male self and since we are now women, they therefore are no longer interested in us as relationship potentials. Real women don't like us for the most part because they see us as competition plus they don't see us as real women either. That leaves only our fellow transgenders to develop and be involved in relationships with. Granted there is a small pool of men out there that are ok with being with a transsexual but unfortunately it is too often for the only reason of it being sexual and nothing more and even then most often it only pre-op transsexuals that they are interested in. But what I am really interested in talking about Transphobia within the LGBTQ community. I was reading an article posted by a transwoman in which she said that she had been accepted into the Lesbian community only to be outed and then rejected by the very same people who had accepted her to begin with. The article got me to thinking about why there is so much discrimination within our own "community". LGBTQ community as a whole has a lot to lose due to the very conservative nature that this country is leaning towards right now. Even among the very strides that we have made in non-discrimination laws there is a powerful movement to undo those very strides that we have made and here we are discriminating among ourselves over perceived biases based on gender and orientation. They are the very same things that the conservatives want to see undone in their narrow minded view set. The new anti-discrimination law in Maryland was stripped of the protection for gender-identity. Montana introduced a bill to outlaw anti-discrimination laws based on sexual orientation and gender identity. That is not even talking about the conservative push to strike down abortion rights. You may ask how does that effect me as a transgender, well, I see it as a building block to other rights and protections. Once they tear that down they won't be happy until they have us living back in the 1950's.We as the LGBTQ community must somehow come together as one, set aside those prejudices and face the facts that we are all in the same political boat. Just because a transwoman wants to march or hang out with lesbians doesn't mean that either one is any less than the other. I myself have faced this very discrimination within the community. I'm not in "competition" with them to take their woman and I consider myself just as much of a woman that they are. They were just lucky at birth and I have to work to get my womanhood. When it comes to being a woman, natal women couldn't endure what we as transwomen must endure. They take for granted their gender, sexuality and very being while we have to endure just to get where we are today. Sure they have faced and to some extent still face discrimination but not nearly to the extent that we do on a daily basis. I have been fortunate in that I have only faced little discrimination by others but finding acceptance has been the most difficult thing that I have faced. I live with a gay man who used to be my partner. But now he is my best friend but struggles with accepting me as Stephanie. He says he understands my transition but because of our intimate history he can't bring himself to easily accept what I am doing. He has gotten better with time and I still care deeply about him as I know that he does me. I know with every fiber of my being he would defend me if the need were to arise. But we very rarely ever do things together. I had a lesbian friend prior to my starting my transition and thought that our friendship would continue afterwards. But time has shown that we're not as close as I had come to believe. It is rare that I ever hear from her since she has moved despite my attempts to keep the channels open. These are just two examples of different people and different situations but they also illustrate the lack of acceptance that many of us face regularly. Despite having a very through and tough anti-discrimination policy at the Boeing Company I found myself being equal but not accepted by many. They were friendly to my face but I was left to feel like an outsider when it came to non-work situations. Granted I know that there are many who do not accept me or other transwomen because they view it as something "unnatural" or against Gods plan or whatever. But we can only be who we are and that is ourselves. It is hard enough in today's society without fighting each other plus those that would see us destroyed. As the transgendered community we need to continue to be ourselves but also face those that would deny us our place within the LGBTQ community who out of ignorance or spite deny us our place in this battle for acceptance and equality because we all have too much to lose.
